Lie: Your productivity is more important than almost anything else, including your emotions, your desires, how tired or hungry you are, and whether you find value in what you’re producing or not. Ah yes, this lie is so familiar to me, so insistent, so much a part of the fabric of how I have lived my life.

Have you noticed that lies and idols can be one and the same? I have always been confused when people try to talk about “modern” idols – money, possessions, relationships, whatever. Until a few years back when I did a Bible study on the book of Jeremiah that helped me identify my idols: productivity and comfort. Those were the first two idols I identified. When I told a friend, she said “those seem like good things!” Yes indeed. And that is how Satan so skillfully weaves them into my being and snares me with them and even convinces me to worship them.

Here is how the Holy Spirit answered this lie: “You are the most important thing to Me. I died for you even though you might not choose me, and I love you the same whether you choose me or not. I made you and I love you: your emotions, your desires, your values. How you feel matters to me, and I want to give you rest. You don’t need to do anything for me. (You don’t need to love me. You don’t need to serve me. You don’t need to be a good Christian so you’re not misrepresenting my name. You don’t need to have daily devotions. I love you. And if you love me back that’s like a cherry on top.)”

He took all the “works” right out of it and made it about grace. This is the God I am coming to know. The emotionally safe God, the God who turns things upside down, the God who saves me from myself. He takes these wounds in my spirit and shows them to me, layer by layer, revealing what healing He has for me.

So layered with this lie is another one, again from childhood (this is how I internalized things, not necessarily the message my parents were trying to send): Working hard is extremely important, and learning to work hard is the purpose of childhood. Those who don’t work hard reap the consequences. It is never ok not to be a hard worker. What needs to be accomplished (which is anything productive that is available in any area that is not currently in a state of perfection) is more important than you. Whether you have the time, energy, motivation, or interest to do it doesn’t matter. It must be done. If something is important to me more than to you, I will make sure to make it a burden to you by mentioning it, its urgency, and the dire consequences of not doing it, until you comply. The idea that it may just be less important to you is totally invalid, or if it is less important to you, it’s because you’re thoughtless and/or lazy.

As I look at this I have to chuckle. My poor husband has been through a lot of torment because of this lie. I have treated him according to the lie, and as he is not a “do-er” in the way that I am, it has been torture for him. I am grateful that he has stuck with me, patiently setting boundaries and loving me in spite of my intense desire to Get! Things! Done! Already!!!

Amazingly, the Spirit answered this lie with the same initial statement: “You are the most important thing to Me. The purpose of childhood is learning and growing, which children do automatically. Parents participate in that by modeling, and providing opportunities. Never measure your success as a parent by how hard your children work. Leave the measuring up to me. Sometimes it is ok not to be working. Elijah spent years by the brook Cherith. Rest is a blessed thing (literally). It is a gift, and an opportunity to remember other gifts. To be always busy is to be lonely, tired, frustrated (the work is never done, and the not-always-busy people aren’t helping). Connection requires rest, unplanned time. It is good to slow, to stop. It does not mean you are lazy, ignorant of the work available, or thoughtless/foolish. No one but you is measuring your productivity. You can stop now. And you don’t need to measure your rest either. Just because there are things to do doesn’t mean you ought to be doing them.”

Every time I read this, my spirit takes a deep breath. I am important to God. Apart from my productivity, my behavior. I am loved no matter how I perform. God wants me more than anything I can do for him. Oh Jesus, let Your voice speak with authority above all the others.