Do you sometimes – or always – think God wants you to suffer? I do. It’s an odd mix of the “no pain, no gain” mentality, Biblical calls to perfection (anyone who looks at the mess I am and demands perfection must be in favor of suffering), and the growing realization that I experience life as suffering whether anything painful is happening to me or not.

There is much that could be said about pain and suffering, but today I would simply like to share a few moments in which God challenged my idea that He wants me to suffer. As I sat in morning quiet, these words came to mind, as if from God: “I want you to feel safe; be content; have everything you need. I will always be with you when things are hard and wrong, but that is not my desire for you.” As I pondered this, I thought about the way God shows Himself in the 23rd Psalm:

• He lets me rest (or as the NKJV says, “He makes me to lie down” – this wording is a lot more accurate for me: Mrs. I-Must-Be-Productive)
• He leads.
• He restores.
• He is with me when death or enemies threaten.
• He comforts.
• He honors.
• He – living in me – leaves a wake of goodness and mercy behind me as I go through life.
• He invites me to live in His home when I can live on this earth no longer.

If I think about suffering from a parenting perspective, I understand that watching with a heart of love while a child suffers is always painful. It may be that God “allows” suffering, or even “causes” suffering, but could it be that suffering is not His desire for me?

I like this perspective from my favorite parenting book: “…we administer consequences not with the belief that enough pain will lead to change, but knowing that learning the Father’s way can sometimes be painful.” (Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart, pg. 36)

I believe God suffers for me and with me – never as One looking on, but always as One being broken alongside me. Could it be that as this togetherness sinks in I might experience life more like being led, restored, comforted, and honored, and less like suffering?