“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”*
Unexpected but much-needed words at 2 a.m., when the house is quiet but my soul is loud.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
A thousand memories of my father, the hymn-playing classical guitarist whose practicing accompanied my sleep most nights for my first 18 years. A hundred more memories of concerts in a hundred churches, Daddy’s black suit with the guitar-fretboard tie, my mother presiding over a table of music for sale—books, CDs, tapes. And record albums in the early memories. My sister and I sang duets. We wore matching dresses sewn by my mother each year, made from fabric chosen by my father.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
The deepest stillness of my soul is always at God’s invitation.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
Knowing I can rage against God, blame God, say “fuck” to God—this, too, is an element of the stillness of my soul.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
Words I need to hear now, and in five minutes, and five minutes after that, because my soul has amnesia when it comes to stillness.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
Comfort for the parts of me that fret about who is not on my side, who doesn’t understand me, who wants ill for me. Be still. The One on my side will never change Her mind.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
As the psalmist wrote, “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) If He is God, I am not. Sometimes I need to remember this. Be still. Be.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
It is safe to be me. Right now. Before I do the next thing.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”
I am not alone, even in my ugliest moments. God’s holy presence holds me with tenderness. I am invited to hold myself with tenderness, too.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”

I pull out my hymnal, play the song one-handed on the piano, wonder if I might fall in love with the rest of the lyrics. I don’t. All I need is that one line.

“Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side.”

---

*This is the first line of the hymn, “Be Still, My Soul.” Words by Kathrina von Schlegel, translated into English by Jane Borthwick. Sung to the tune of “Finlandia,” by the Finnish composer Jean Sibelius.