I am a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism sneaks up from behind, confronts me directly, whispers lies in my ear, preys on me when I don’t expect it, and offers to be my friend when I’m lonely. This voice coming from all directions is hard to silence. This suggestion that everything could be right and good, if only… (fill in the blank). It’s an addiction.

Into this mess comes God/Jesus/Spirit, with comfort and hope. And here I wonder if perhaps this longing for perfection is not entirely evil. God and His ways are perfect. Could the constant pulsing of my desire for perfection be a constant reminder that I desire God? And could I find contentment in letting Him be the perfect One?

I’m not alone and I don’t have to get everything right. I’m safe with You. Even when there’s pee on the bath mat an hour after I washed it, and I feel guilty for pushing my kids too hard, and hormones take my emotions on a ride, and I struggle to enjoy life. Even then.

I may be tired and emotional but I don’t have to blame. I don’t have to blame myself. I don’t have to blame others. You are my defender and deliverer in this battle of the mind.

Today is not about how good I am. But it might be about how good You are.

You don’t mind if I’m not productive this morning, or if I need to lean heavy on You.

There is peace in letting God be God, and letting me be human.

Today may I find contentment in being very small but having a very big and powerful Daddy.

There is perfection, but not in me or the world around me.

Our relationship will never be perfect on my side, but always perfect on Your side. I can’t trust myself in the way I can trust You. No matter how today goes, I can find joy in the fact that You are perfect. You are batting a thousand. You are getting everything right.

Here I am in my brokenness, and here You are in Your perfection, and here we commune in Your grace.