Obedience. Another word that has a long “cringing” history with me. The Oxford Dictionary online defines cringing as “bent in fear or apprehension”; a perfect description of my response to mandates for Biblical and godly obedience. Along with a nice helping of guilt because I know I should want to be obedient and I should be obedient. Either because God is right, or because He loves me, or something like that. This year God has been calling me to obedience, so we have been conversing about what that means. I would like to share these conversations with you, in the form of five posts, of which this is the first.
Obedience, Part 1 – Turning
Obedience, Part 2 – Agreeing or Trusting?
Obedience, Part 3 – What Precedes Obedience
Obedience, Part 4 – What Follows Obedience
Obedience, Part 5 – Disobedience

The Light Burden

I don’t know about you, but at face value obeying God sounds to me like an incredibly heavy burden. There are hundreds of rules, mandates, and lists of good things to do in the Bible. Unlike the Pharisees, I have not memorized these and made it a practice to implement them perfectly in my life. Even if I distill them all into the famous “love God and love each other” principle, I’m no closer to being successful in obedience. But maybe obedience isn’t about doing all the good things all the time.

In Matthew chapter 11, Jesus says, “‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” In a heart-raw talk by Phil Vischer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVuinkWIolo), he submits the idea that the “light burden” or “yoke” Jesus describes is obedience. Maybe He’s only asking me to do one thing. I don’t have to know all the things and do all the things. Maybe this light burden of obedience is simply turning toward Him in this moment.

For This Moment

I have a tendency to over-commit. Call it loyal, call it controlling, call it dependable, or call it desperate – and you’re probably right. In any case, I thought God needed me to promise unending obedience to Him. That right now I need to be ready for all the eventualities. I have this crazy idea He’s going to ask me to do something crazy. And if I agree to obey Him, I have to agree to all the possible outcomes up front. I have to promise obedience at every juncture for the rest of my life. I must surrender my will once and for all.

The truth is, I exercise my will a hundred times a day. Sometimes in obedience and sometimes in self serving. The truth is, it would be presumptuous to promise obedience when I am riddled with sin and selfishness. The truth is, God is inviting me to obedience and surrender as He interacts with me throughout every day – each moment, each reminder of His kingdom, each time I see my brokenness and His offer of rest and provision. The truth is, I am a sinner saved by grace. Not, I was a sinner. I am a sinner, and I am simultaneously saved by grace. Saving is God’s work, and my part is to respond to Him in this moment. He wants today with me. Thank You Lord for the hundred invitations every day to turn toward You and accept Your transforming presence with us.

Turning Toward

In the bestselling book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman and Nan Silver, chapter five is devoted to the principle “Turn toward Each Other Instead of Away.” It begins by describing a common scene in the Love Lab, a fabricated apartment in Seattle, WA that serves as a marriage research facility:

None of the footage taped in our Love Lab would win anybody an Oscar. Our archives are filled with scenes in which the husband looks out the picture window and says, “Wow, look at that boat,” and the wife peers over her magazine and says, “Yeah, it looks like that big schooner we saw last summer, remember?” and the husband grunts.

You might think I’d find viewing hour after hour of such scenes unbearably boring. On the contrary: When couples engage in lots of chitchat like this, I can be pretty sure that they will stay happily married. What’s really happening in these brief exchanges is that the husband and wife are connecting – they are turning toward each other. In couples who go on to divorce or live together unhappily, such small moments of connection are rare. More often the wife doesn’t even look up from her magazine – and if she does, her husband doesn’t acknowledge what she says.

Gottman goes on to describe how people make “bids” for their partner’s attention: sharing their feelings, making a joke, scooting closer on the couch. “People either turn toward one another after these bids or they turn away. Turning toward is the basis of emotional connection…”

This is what God wants with us. He wants to be together, to chat. He is making bids for our attention, constantly seeking intimacy with us. Obedience is a turning. It is a “yes” to intimacy with God. Emmanuel: God with us. This is a totally unequal relationship in a way that is wholly in our favor. Someone who is lovely, emotionally safe, strong, wise, eager to provide for you and having the power to do so – this Someone desires intimacy with you, with me. 

I like the simple message of this song. Could it be that God desires you?