Tag Archives: poetry

Spring

What am I here for
But to watch buds fatten
On tips of branches in early spring
To notice the colors of the sky
How sun and clouds play with light
And wind plays in trees

Enormous branches wave and pitch
Every squirrel has sea legs
And every bird knows wind in its feathers
The way I know air in my lungs

Warty limbs offer footing for hawks and squirrels
Predator and prey on the same playground

Mourning doves build flimsy nests
Robins weave bowls sturdy and deep
Open-air homes, no walls, no roofs
Yet safe for fragile eggs and naked babies

I live fortified in walls and clothes and knowledge
Yet no more safe than birds and buds
“Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow
They don’t work or make their clothing
Yet Solomon in all his glory
Was not dressed as beautifully as they are”*

*Matthew 6:28b-29, NLT

Beach morning

Clouds spread high and even, exposed quilt-batting pinned above the landscape.

Great Blue Heron perches afront a high cliff, dark against tawny, bare earth.
Suddenly, silently, he extends broad wings. Legs momentarily dangle long before he points his toes straight behind and glides north along the shoreline.

Hummingbirds cavort, pausing occasionally in the bushes below our deck. One zooms into my personal space, then speeds away, so quick I register its presence only when it’s gone.

Two piles of sea lions lie strewn on behemoth, exposed rocks in the frothy tide far below, where yesterday we found wide swaths of sea anemones packed together like dinner rolls, and a Dungeness crab picking its way through submerged, holly-green sea plants.

The air is calm and balmy, the sound of waves steady.

Assorted seabirds pass overhead, wings beating duck-like.
An osprey circles once, twice, a third time. Its feet drop slightly as it releases a sizable white poo that disappears as soon as I spot it.

Blue clouds on the horizon hold my gaze—color of blue sky, but fluffy like whipped frosting. 

caw-caw rides air from the beach to my ears. Sea lions are on the move.
They wiggle their way toward the surf, descending the sloping rock like otters with no legs, bodies gallumping in a wavelike motion, ungraceful.
A raggedy row of them moves like an uncomfortable caterpillar. A dozen submerge and swim away; the “caterpillar” comes to an awkward halt, twitching a few times at the tail end, then settling, as if an invisible being has hit snooze. Nine more minutes of sleep. 

A long, low island of rocks emerges, left of the tall sea-cliff island that is nearly always visible.
A wave crashes, snapping my attention back to shore and sleeping sea lions. One twitches its hind flipper like a cat’s tail.

A flash of blue catches my eye. Stellar Jay lands on the porch railing, hops down, picks up the beef jerky that fell yesterday when we fed seagulls. Effortlessly, she ascends again to the railing. She pins the jerky against it, reaching between her toes to rip pieces off, her scruffy morning hairdo dark against the sky. Before I have drunk my fill of her beauty, she hops away. Holding the last bite of jerky, she springs grasshopper-like in short bounds along the railing until she disappears beyond weathered shingles.

I think about binoculars, so I can see what kind of birds cluster on the rocks far from shore. But fog has moved in, curtain call on this beach morning.

Unsure

You cannot have a drivers license anymore.
I want to get a five-acre parcel—
I can’t just sit down and get inspired.
They can change on the fly,
It’s just more condensed.
His heart was already going another direction,
Texting me at 5am.
I slept all day yesterday.
I’ll come find you in your office after lunch.
I’m gonna have to get used to him first,
Which is really sad.
I’m good on the prose.

Weird but Not Worried

Weird but Not Worried

Blessed are You
Lord Jesus,
King of the Universe,
for sending Your disciples to preach—
even Judas—
before they grasped
what You were all about.

Blessed are You
for letting thousands of people
get hungry on a hillside,
for letting demons
run a fortune of bacon
over a cliff to drown,
for letting a woman use her hair
as a washcloth, on You.

Blessed are You
Lord Jesus,
King of the Universe,
for never being much of one to worry
about Your next meal
or Your fickle followers
or that you sounded crazy
or preached too long.
You saw the person in front of You
like they’d never been seen before
and didn’t worry about the rest.

Don’t Touch

It’s wet paint
It’s an artifact at the science and history museum
It’s frosted birthday cupcakes

A piece of candy on the floor
A dead mouse
A hot pan

Rows of glass on the dishware shelf at Target
Electric fence
Sand art

Don’t touch that!

It’s a fight about money
It’s a friend’s anger at God
It’s a memory that twists my stomach

A mother’s embarrassment
A father’s shame
A hospital bill

God as feminine
Donald Trump
LGBTQIA+

Don’t touch that!

It’s a papery hornet nest
It’s a snake sunning on a rock
It’s a spiderweb

A cup overflowing
A polished concert grand piano
A fragile seedling

Perfect place setting, with folded-napkin swan
“Emergency Call” button in the elevator
Picnic leftover, buzzing flies

Don’t touch that!

It’s weight gain
It’s addiction
It’s a black eye

A cousin in jail
A protruding (pregnant?) belly
A brother-in-law in rehab, again

Extramarital affair
Ex-girlfriend
Was grandma “saved” or did she die an atheist?

Don’t touch.

How to Be a Mother

Breathe. And not just
during the contractions.
You must be well-oxygenated
to care for another human being.

Give up. And not just
once. Keep at it.
You must release your grasp
before your muscles cramp.

Laugh. And not just
when it’s funny.
You must include sadness and shock
and exhaustion in your mirth.

Tell the truth. And not just
to yourself.
You must tell the other moms,
and listen to their tellings.

Accept your new self. And not just
the nurturing and brave parts.
You must accept the anger,
the desperation, the invisibility.

And remember to breathe.

Latte and Lover

Latte and Lover

Blessed are You,
Lord our God,
Lover of the Universe,
for this cardamom-orange latte,
moment of perfection
in a fretful day,
soothing my lips,
hospice for my tongue,
comfort in my throat.

Blessed are You
for the beans and the heat and the hands—
makers of this,
and for the joy You feel seeing me
sit and sip and sate,
and for the peace I ingest
seeing You seeing me.

Blessed are You,
Lord our God,
Lover of the Universe,
for the zest of orange,
the comfort of cardamom,
the sensuality of taste,
the weightiness of being held,
always held
by You my Lover.

Even a Candle Has Seasons

Even a Candle Has Seasons

Even a candle has seasons,
A smooth-topped beginning,
Wick white and waxy.
First burst of flame,
First melted pool.

Midlife of a candle
Suggests service.
It is seasoned, available,
Each lighting a faithful burn.

The candle wanes.
It’s fiery moments are numbered.
Uneven wax shows age.
It’s weight is diminished.

Then, the last burn—
The light, the heat, the flicker.
Perhaps it pops and sputters
Until its pulse is gone.
It, too, has passed.

Every lighting was a beginning,
Every extinguishment an end,
Every burning a symbol—
Every thing has seasons.

Come Wanderer

Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn’t matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a hundred times.
Come, yet again, come, come.

-Rumi

“Come … wanderer,” God invites.

In what ways have I wandered?

The wilderness of parenting.

The jungle of marriage.

The labyrinth of religion.

Is wandering about being lost?

Or is it about looking for something new? Something about which I can’t say, “Oh, I knew that.”

Wandering leaves me wondering if I fit in, if I am still invited in.

You invite me in. “Come,” You say, “come wanderer.”

Yes, I am invited. Yes, I belong. Yes, there is a place for me, even—maybe especially—when I don’t fit in to the containers I used to fit in—the labeled Tupperware, the organized totes.

Now the pieces of me are less organized, but still You say, “Come,” and all of me comes even though I thought maybe the pieces were too scattered.

They are not. All of them respond to Your voice.

It is not my job to organize myself. Or to stop wandering. Everywhere I go, You meet me there.

If wandering has taught me anything, it is that You are everywhere.

“Come,” You say, and I am surprised to find You are standing right next to me. You are not calling from a great distance. “Come,” You say, “let us wander together. Show me something you’ve found here. And I’ll show you some things too.”

Wandering and loneliness are intertwined, and You and I, we are familiar with both.

“Come,” You say, and I know that You know this place, that You are no stranger to wilderness or jungle or labyrinth. These are Your kitchen, your garden, your cathedral.

“Come,” You say, and I know that I have always been home. For You are home to wanderers.