Category Archives: Invitations to Spiritual Intimacy

Emmanuel Mystery

On school picture day I was at the private Christian school my girls attend, waiting with my youngest daughter to get her school picture taken. Friday chapel happened to be at that time, so I sat in on it. The guest speaker told the story of a family committed to Sabbath-keeping who was experiencing a plague of grasshoppers that would devour their fields. They stood to lose tens of thousands of dollars because the company spraying for grasshoppers refused to spray their field when asked to work around Sabbath hours. Amazingly, the power lines the length of their property were covered with solid rows of birds Sabbath morning, which descended and ate all the grasshoppers, saving their fields and fortunes.

Stories like this trouble me. Especially when we share them with elementary school children. What exactly are we trying to say? That if we trust God He will make sure everything works out in our favor? That we can pray and expect Him to take care of things in a way that preserves us? What about all the things that don’t work out? And why would God save a field of grain but not save little girls from brothels, or a wife from her husband’s affair, or a Christian from torture and death?

Often my reaction to my inability to see and understand the ways of God is to reduce God’s provision to a cosmic “everything will be alright in the end” platitude. Clearly He’s not making everything alright now, so He must mean that His care and protection are for the race as a whole over the arc of history, and not really for individuals. He must mean that my soul is safe – not my body, or my possessions, or my relationships. He has redeemed me and I trust in Him for my eternal provision, so at least if I am tortured to death, I know my soul is safe with Him. (Unfortunately, I happen to like my body and my life, and I don’t like the idea of being a pawn in a cosmic game.)

But this really feels like a cop-out to me. How can I possibly enjoy an intimate relationship with a Being who I believe doesn’t care for my well-being today? And how do I explain my own experience, that He does care for things as minute as my to-do list and whether I have time to take a shower? How do I explain the times He has provided perfectly the intimacy I was missing in my marriage, or the words to connect with my distraught child? The longer I respond to Him, the more I am convinced that He desires to be present in every moment of my day, every cell of my being, every thought, every need. But while He does provide for me often, He seems more interested in being with me than in fixing everything. This is puzzling to me, because I place high value on things being fixed. In fact, God and I have had some serious altercations about why He has not made me good yet.

So where does this leave me? Certainly I have not answered the questions that millions have been asking for thousands of years. Truthfully, I think God is beyond understanding. His goodness is beyond understanding and I’m certain He is a little crazy for loving me. And when I think about all the badness that is beyond understanding, I just don’t get it. I explain to my kids the story of Satan’s fall, our own fall, and the importance of humans having the power of choice even though it hurts us. But still the evil in the world is unsettling.

For me, in this season, there are two beliefs that comfort me when I think about pain. The first I have already touched on, and that is God’s desire – and His promise – to be with us. I want to be crystal clear that pain is real, and sometimes so deep and raw it threatens to destroy us. It cannot be spoken away, “faithed” away, hidden away. It is part of our experience, and we will feel it, and we will know that we cannot escape it. Sitting in pain, the most comforting, affirming, burden-lightening experience is to have someone sit in it with us. Most of us have a friend or friends who are quick to offer advice, solutions, and fixes for everything in our lives, and we quickly learn not to share struggles and pain with those people. The times I have felt the most safe in my own emotional skin are the times when I was allowed to be in pain, when my experience was affirmed and I knew someone was with me. This is a rare gift.

God is Emmanuel: God with us. He has an incredible capacity for feeling, and He enters into our feelings as an intimate friend. One of my favorite authors, Ty Gibson, calls Him omnipassionate. He is able to feel deeply with each of us. He is present in our pain. There is no pain outside of His desire to be in it with us. He sits with us in deep sorrows, and He is present in the passion of misplacing my phone for the seventh time today. I’m starting to wonder if this is actually better than Him fixing everything. It irritates me just a little to even say that, but my spirit says yes to a God who is with me just to be with me. A God who holds my pain with tenderness and affirmation, and holy presence. A God who is not immune to my pain, but actually feels it with me because He is one with me by His grace. A God who became human so He actually knows what it is like to feel pain as a human.

The second belief that comforts me is that God can somehow undo our pain in the future. If believing God’s presence in pain is hard for me to grasp, trying to understand His ability to work backwards and “undo” pain is even more of a mystery. In the book “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis, one of the characters says, “That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, ‘No future bliss can make up for it,’ not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.” I believe that God’s redemption is for all time. His sacrifice on the cross saved the first humans who breathed, just as it saves us. And if the cross can reach backwards and forwards, maybe heaven can, too.

Consider this passage from Ephesians: “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.” (Eph. 1:4-11, NLT) 

I am ignorant, sinful, selfish and blind, observing an infinite God through a finite lens. My understanding is weak, but I am drawn by Holy Mystery – a God who is here right now, desiring the intimacy of knowing my own feelings as they emerge naked and timid from my heart; a God who desires to extend His love and grace, passion and power to us in order to bring all things and all times under the healing power of His love. We are not left empty handed, holding only a promise, and neither are we held in the moment with no anticipation of future healing. It’s just like Him to offer comfort right now, and hope for the future. 

Maybe I feel unsettled about the farmer and the grasshopper-eating birds because I’m focused on the wheat. I assume God is placing value on the wheat and the money, when in fact He is placing value on His child. He is present in the experience of the farmer. His presence could be birds, peace, wisdom, money. It doesn’t really matter how He shows up. It matters that He shows up. Because He loves you. Emmanuel Mystery.

Give and Receive

I am guarded with God. As much as I don’t want to admit it, it becomes painfully clear in those moments when I try to trust Him and end up exploding in anger. I’m still not sure He’s safe. Perhaps I am in a lifetime of recovery. Just as alcoholics are forever recovering, perhaps so are sinners.

I keep thinking God is expecting something from me – a life of service perhaps – and He keeps saying, “Let Me provide.” Why am I so convinced He wants to take, when all He has done is give? (And how presumptuous to think that I have anything of objective value to offer the God who made me.)

Always He is present. Always He is safe. Always He wants to be with me and love me, even though it makes no sense. “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not also with Him freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)

Perhaps this giving is an invitation to me to receive. Receiving is different than taking. God is not a shelf from which I can select whatever I need and take it. He is a lover, pursuing me with gifts – blessings – and each time I receive I am entering into intimate relationship with Him. God bless this holy mystery.

Connection Is Greater Than Perfection

Have you ever dated Jesus for His mansion? A home of gold and jewels waiting for you in a perfect world free from tears and pain? Or maybe you fell in love with Him and although you’ve lost the passion you’re sticking with Him because He’s such a nice guy and you hope all that niceness will rub off on you. He is love, joy peace, patience, kindness… and you could definitely use more of that. Perhaps fear keeps you in the relationship: you fear His eternal wrath if you don’t believe, or fear He’ll remove your favorite blessing here on earth if you don’t tow the line. Maybe you’re in an arranged marriage. Your parents picked Jesus out for you from birth and their dearest wish is to see you happy together forever, but you feel trapped. Or is Jesus your convenient boyfriend? He’s always nice to you, He wants to be with you, but He’s not pressuring you into anything, so you enjoy your independence and give Him a call when you’re lonely.

Or perhaps, like me, you thought He wanted something from you and you’ve been working hard to be productive for Him. I haven’t spent a whole lot of time thinking about His mansions or how available His love is to me, but I have spent countless hours thinking (and fretting) about what He wants from me. Certainly he must want something. Right? There are sufficient options, I can choose what fits me best. Or what makes the guilt a little less persistent. Take a high stake option like selling all my possessions and moving halfway around the world to be a missionary in a closed country. Take a low stake option like reading a few Bible verses every day. Take the obvious Biblical exhortations: obedience, for example. Of course He wants obedience from us. How about loving behavior? He wants me to be kind and generous, have good thoughts, be slow to anger (James 1:19). There are so many things, and I’m pretty sure He wants them all. He says “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). But all this fretting has done little for me, and I am reminded that my righteousness is like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).

Among the various words and phrases I have written in my prayer window are these: “He is best discovered when I am seeking Him – not a better version of myself”; and “He wants me more than anything I can do for Him.” I feel this tugging on my heart. Jesus begging me to rethink. To repent (turn toward Him). I have believed that He is seeking my doing, and I have sought His doing in my life. Oh how I long to be patient, kind, gentle. How I long to be a better parent and wife. How I long for the truth to set me free into the joyful and abundant life. But have I longed for Jesus? He is pressing close to my spirit. He is telling me, “I want you. I want to be with you. I want to be your most intimate companion, even if you never change. Even if you never do one thing for me. I don’t want your behavior. I want you! Do you hear me? I am literally crazy about you. This mansion of gold and jewels feels lonely without you. You are so precious to me that to live inside you so that we are never apart even for a second is my greatest desire. I am not afraid of your brokenness. I am not frustrated by your problems. I am not disappointed that you have not performed well for me. I am so in love with you that those things are nothing to me.”

I have hungered, I have grasped, I have desperately worked, I have demanded, I have begged, I have despaired. Where are these fruits, the gentleness, patience, kindness, joyfulness, and self control? God has graciously walked with me through this unholy flailing, and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel this prayer in my heart and on my lips: Lord, you will not do anything that does not build the intimacy of our relationship. You will not give me the fruit of the Spirit just so I can have the fruit. The whole point is that I do life with you. You in me, me in you. Abiding. You desire to be my companion every moment of every day. You don’t just give me the fruit of the Spirit, because the fruit is not the gift. You are the gift. You with me is the gift. You want to be with me. Intimately. Always. Lord let this sink into my spirit and my bones. As Chris Tomlin sings, “Oh I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think You’re like, but I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night, and you tell me that You’re pleased and that I am never alone. You’re a good, good Father, it’s who You are… and I am loved by You, it’s who I am.” I feel like I’ve been going after you for Your money or Your mansions, or Your treasure, Your power, Your gifts, or hoping You’ll rub off on me. But now I see the beauty of resting and letting you come after me. I see that Your offer to be my companion in life far outweighs all the other things You have that I was hoping to gain by being with You. I have wanted you for what You can do for me, and I have believed that You wanted me for what I can do for You. I repent of these beliefs and I turn toward You. I accept this joyous mystery: you want to be with me.