Moms Don’t Know

A mom doesn’t know
if nursing her baby
will be bliss or misery.
She doesn’t know how many weeks,
months, or years will pass before
she sleeps one whole night.
She doesn’t know if the bedtime boundary
is for the kid, or for her own sanity, or
who will be scarred by it 15 years from now.

Is crawling “early” a good sign?
Is learning to talk “late” a bad sign?
Is she spoiling with too many snacks,
or not offering enough?
Is it best to let the siblings fight it out
or to coach them through conflict?

Has she said “no” too little, or too much?
Does letting her daughter spend the night
at a friend’s house foster healthy independence,
or increase the likelihood of sexual abuse?
Does curating books and movies and music
benefit her kids or teach them to be
afraid of the world?

Moms don’t know
how their prayers will be answered,
their cooking remembered,
their mistakes retold.
They don’t know about the people
their grown child will feed and teach and hold,
or the nights he or she will go to bed early
because they know how to stop and rest.
Moms don’t know the impact
their love will have after they’re gone.
Moms just don’t know.